Coming Home ...

I am breathing a sigh of relief. My dad is home from his 7 day stay at spa Mt. Saint Joseph's hospital. And ... well ... I'm glad he's home safe and sound. His blood counts are back up. Also, things are going amazingly well with my new agent. In the 2 weeks I've been with him, I've been on 4 auditions. One of them this really great part on a sit-com. I continue to breathe a sigh of relief. 10 more days until Everest airs, postcards have been designed and will talk to the agency publicist tomorrow to build some more heat for Everest and Less Than Kind. Another relieved sigh. It's all about taking action for oneself and taking care of business. My theme this year was: I have arrived and the world say YES. But recently while I was chanting, it didn't feel right anymore. First of all, "the world says YES" felt like I was needing approval. I don't. But I do want to stop feeling like a victim ... so I revised my theme to: VICTIM NO MORE, I HAVE ARRIVED! Man, did things change immediately. I had people opening doors, (I mean literally, people were opening doors for me) I felt more connected to people and vice versa. My confidence is at a deeper place. What a difference a few words make ... My family is safe, healthy and sound ... and I breathe ... a ... sigh ... of ... relief!

I do this exercise in class ... it's a confidence builder called ... I'm Superman ...

and we start listing off the amazing things that we've accomplished in our lives. When I think about it, that happens everyday ... So here goes ... this weekend, I helped open up the Buddhist Culture Center, find out my dad was checked into Emergency cuz his blood count is low, so organized this meeting before I had to make sure that my dad was ok at the hospital, drive back to the meeting. Then go back and visit my dad again, take my mom and a visitor from Switzerland all over town. Then wake up the next morning meet with a couple of guys, go back to the hospital to visit my dad, go to a couple of picnics, meet a student, then go to a planning meeting. hmmmmmm .... I'M SUPERMAN!

I think my dad getting checked into emergency this weekend admittedly stressed me out a bit, I think about how each moment is precious and understand why am hanging with my parents. Thoughts started rushing thru my mind, how would my mom handle things if something did happen? What about the farm? What would day to day stuff in our house be like? Life was a little different not having him in the house and being at the hospital the past couple of day. I think my dad will be OK ... and will be around for a while ... but we never know ... so am grateful for each day.

The Bicycle Thief ...

Yes, my bike got stolen!!! It's a really shitty feeling after coming back from teaching a really great acting class to go outside and find that someone else's bike is on the rack and that yours is no longer there. That really F***King sucks. I'm so sad and angry. I loved that bike ... it was a gift from my brother. So I had sushi with a friend and sulked as I helped her plan her life out in Asia. I'm keeping your name secret Rene ... oooopsss ... oh well. Wow, now you've been blogged twice in one week on two different people's blogs, girl you get around! So we planned her life in Asia, talked about life and relationships. After, she drove me back just in case I may have accidentally parked my bike somewhere else. But, oh well ... what can you do? So I took public transit and it was pretty fascinating because I really noticed the landscape of faces. Way different from when we first moved to Vancouver in 1976. There is an amazing diversity of different cultural backgrounds nowadays. Not just a homogeneous group of people, then I wondered why doesn't that make up reflect television, film and other media for that matter. I mean it's changing but not as quick as I'd like it to be. I was grateful to notice that anyway ... so I got home and whined to my mom for a few moments. Then realized, I have another bike anyway ... the world is abundant no? So whoever stole my bike, since you went to so much trouble to break my lock ... I hope you're enjoying it as much as I did.

What I have and what I don't have ...

Ok ... so this year hasn't been the easiest year for me. I've invested all this money into this farm back in the Philippines. Planning to go back to school, moved into another level of my work, have had many friends have health challenges. I'm supporting and taking on a lot of responsibilities in so many areas of my life. It can be overwhelming at times.

Yet, I stop and take a breath then think ...

today I had one of the best days of my life ... I got to hang with my family and go blueberry picking (slideshow) - coached a student, have a meeting with my new agent tomorrow to talk about this vast possibilities of a great NEW FUTURE ... I start to think about what I do have. I am so grateful that my parents are still healthy, happy - that I get to spend all this time with them and create these amazing memories. I definitely have to relate it to the fact that I have this amazing Buddhist practice and a great mentor - Daisaku Ikeda. I also am so appreciative that I'm a good teacher, a good actor who has not one but TWO shows coming up where I will be able to showcase my ability as a lead actor. I have gotten better at communicating. I have so much to be grateful for no matter how difficult things may get, I have a pretty good life. I just always have to keep looking ahead, keep looking forward.

Recovery

re·cov·er·y (r-kv-r)

n. pl. re·cov·er·ies

1. The act, process, duration, or an instance of recovering.

2. A return to a normal condition.

3. Something gained or restored in recovering.

4. The act of obtaining usable substances from unusable sources.

recovery

Noun

pl -eries

1. the act of recovering from sickness, a shock, or a setback

2. restoration to a former and better condition

3. the regaining of something lost

4. the extraction of useful substances from waste

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/recovery


Reading this definition, I come back to my own personal recovery. I don't think one has to be an alcoholic or drug addict necessarily to be in "recovery".

I think it's everyday when we go thru life's daily challenges or take on very difficult obstacles. We need a bit of time to recover. Sometimes it's 5 minutes, sometimes it's 5 years. It's important to just take a moment, to check in. Refresh, energize or we'll just keep going and burn out in one way or another ... and then if we get sick or hurt ourselves because we're not paying attention, unconscious ... we end up needing to recover anyway. I'd rather give myself the choice in the moment.

Next installment ... Ch-ch-ch-changes ...